Pop the Balloon or Find Love: Reflections on a YouTube Phenomenon
Notes from a Baby Boomer: Exploring the Dating Habits and Preferences of Black Gen Z and Millennials
Recently, my son told me about a YouTube video stream show called “Pop The Balloon Or Find Love.” It seems I am one of only a handful of people in America who never heard of the show. He gave me a rundown of what the show is about. I am not going to explain the show in this piece. If you have not seen it, watch at least one episode, then read this. You already know what I am talking about if you have seen it.
What makes this interesting to me?
One of the great things about digital media is that it is one of the most democratic pathways for giving opportunities to all creative and innovative people. Almost anyone can make a YouTube show, and sometimes, it feels like everyone is doing exactly that. You can become popular overnight. Dreams can be fulfilled, even if temporarily, for those with a good idea and an entrepreneurial mindset. The most crucial asset of digital media is that you do not need much money to get started. A good idea goes a long way.
Pop The Balloon Or Find Love is not a particularly novel or innovative idea. Pop the Balloon or Find Love, is obviously working on a limited budget; the show lacks consistency as the quality of candidates differs significantly, and there are lax rules when it comes to format. Pace and timing do not exist, as people basically talk as long as they want to without interruption, even during the lamest of self-gratifying, self-serving speeches. Rules seem to be loose as the show’s host is more apt to adjust to some of the whims of the guests. The number of contestants differs from each show, and the running time varies. The only guidance seems to depend on the participant’s interaction with each other.
It is a treasure trove of data if someone was studying young African Americans' mating and social habits. If someone wanted to sell products to the African American Community, they would have more than enough information on fashion, make-up, music, hobbies, food, recreation, etc, to run a successful business that caters to Black Millenials and Gen Z’ers. Pop the Balloon or Find Love opens a door into the Black community that traditional network shows have never come close to matching.
I am a Baby Boomer, and I find the show fascinating. Almost every episode is a possible train wreck waiting to happen as each suitor saunters out into the open to face the balloon holders. When things go south between two people, it has high entertainment value. Many interactions are viewed in short videos by millions more people who are not fans of the shows but love to watch the back-and-forth of strangers who are magically turned into adversaries because one of their toes looks funny.
The host, Arletta, seems so congenial and proper as she goes about her work. But what she is really dissing up (and to some extent, this is why the show is so popular), is potential drama. When a balloon is popped, it is not good enough to say that the person is just not your type. If you say that, Arletta will ask you to elaborate. You are asked to pinpoint exactly what is wrong with the potential mate. Many people will pass on specifics, even if pressed. However, when they decide to elaborate, that is when the show earns its high rating.
People have had their balloon pooped for reasons such as dirty shoes, bad teeth, big noses, little ears, bent toes, low energy, fake hair, mean eyeing, bad accent, ugly clothes, too fat, to short, too tall, tattooed, ashy knees, built funny, gold teeth, hairy arms, too dark, too light, too fat too skinny, too many piercings, too many kids, too many baby daddies and mamas, too old, too young, eyebrows not right, hair too long, and being baldheaded are just a few of the reasons people pop their balloon. All superficial of course!
The contestants on the show, whether they are suiters or balloon holders, are put in situations that would be awkward in real life. However, to some, this may be why they are on the show in the first place. They must decide on a person’s likability based on looks and a couple of sentences. This embedded part of the show gives it the energy and best content for entertainment.
I have heard many of these exchanges between contestants; some are the usual or obvious. One woman turns up with tattoos and piercings all over her face and a split tongue split in two, which (apparently) moves independently. She, and the viewers know that she will not get a date, but she will be able to voice her opinions about several topics, several times during a show. She uses this (negative?) attention to promote her business and social media brand, exposing her to thousands of potential customers. She is a winner without having to go on a date, and the exposure she receives is more valuable than she would have earned on her own.
Another aspect of modern Black living that I am learning more about is the social implications of not being a Christian. Questions such as Are you a God-fearing man/woman? Do you have a relationship with Jesus? And Which God do you follow? are asked in most of the episodes. If someone comes straight out and admits to being an atheist, all balloons will be popped. Some contestants who are not attending church consistently or are not religious will use the same cope-out statement, “I’m spiritual.” But they will always make sure to say that they at least believe in an Almighty God.
Some of the good news I have learned about my people is that we are an industrious lot! I have never seen a person on the show say they were unemployed. Even though one woman claimed to be an entrepreneur, when pressed for details, she revealed she was not an entrepreneur yet, but that was her goal. There’s a standard answer when guests are asked what they do for a living. Some answer this way; “I’m an entrepreneur, and I run my own business. I am also a personal trainer, I sell eye-lashes, I’m a model, I edit videos, and D.J. on the side.” That sounds like a busy person to some, but to me, it says, “I’m unemployed.” I believe that when most of them say they are an entrepreneur, they use the word entrepreneur as a euphemism for the word hustler.
Don’t tell me you are a hustler or entrepreneur if your job at for the DMV is what pays the lion’s share of your bills. There’s nothing wrong with being a hustler. However, the word hustler carries a certain weight attached to Black culture and urbanism. The reason why contestants will use euphemisms to mask words like hustler into entrepreneur and say that they are spiritual to mask they are not a Christian is because they know these terms and meanings are essential to the Black community. To get into that community, you better have the correct answer (for Pop the Balloon or Find Love show). It’s the same for us old baby boomers.
The preference for certain skin tones is a regular topic of the show. From a human standpoint, this makes as much sense as any other physical trait, such as height, hair, and eye preference. However, for me, this preference is sometimes cringeworthy. The preference between light or dark skin for African Americans is split down the middle. But just the thought of this preference in the Black community, a preference that is shown to the world, is not an easy fit for this Baby Boomer. On the other hand, it is not an unreasonable preference. If white people had come in easily identifiable shades, I am sure skin tone would be prominent on their list of desirable attributes. Since the color of skin in the Black community has such a wide range of tones, representing just about every race on earth, it only makes sense that skin tone would be just as logical a choice preference as short or tall.
This show reveals much, even through some of the masks that people wear. They are not trying to fit in; they fear being cast aside from the community. The show reveals a generation of 20 to 40-year-old African Americans who understand the ingredients for success. They still believe in the old-school thought that America is a meritocracy, where they hope to win status through talent and effort. The last election proved America is not a meritocracy (That’s a topic for another day). But the guest projects the image of hard-working go-getters who hold more jobs than Jamaicans and Koreans combined (if you don’t know that reference, watch the Baby Boomer show, In Living Color). Some of the guests are a little ghetto, some bougie. They wear that image proudly. However, society looks up to people who make tons of money by seemingly doing nothing, not working a half dozen hustles.
If the contestants on this show practice what they project, the outcome should propel them to a better place, even if it falls short of their ultimate goal. Being in a better place will prove the theory that hard work pays off (eventually), even in a fake meritocracy. I understand these Millennials and Gen Z African Americans. From my Baby Boomer’s perch, very little has changed from Baby Boomers to Millenials. Styles and fashion have changed, while the characteristics of human interaction have changed little. Only the technology we use to communicate those thoughts has changed. The show Pop the Balloon or Find Love solidifies those beliefs.
