The Source(s) of Black Angst
Wallowing in pain and sorrow seems to be in fashion these days.
Killer cops, armed teenaged vigilantes, hate groups, a racist president, secret federal agents, economic woes, voter suppression, election-year politics, hurricanes, forest fires, riots, and oh yeah — we are in the middle of a global pandemic…who wouldn’t be depressed? I’m depressed. I know I can’t be the only one. My world is full of anger; I’m emotional, I’m worried, and I’m disappointed.
I’m disappointed in our President. He will do anything to win an election; ethics, morality, and the rule of law can all be damned! He is doing it in the open, which makes this so surreal. I’m disappointed in the politicians who help and defend him. I’m disappointed in the Christians who stand by him, even though he breaks every law that Jesus taught. I’m disappointed in the Democrats in the House who seem to be a very weak foe. I think I am allowed to feel a certain way about all of this. There are several reasons for my malaise.
The Election
We have an upcoming election. I am not sure about the election. Uncle Joe (Biden) has lost a couple of steps since 2008. Biden seems a little sedate and sluggish these days. I am not happy with our Democratic nominee and is Biden’s third time running for President. If he ever had a rough edge to his demeanor, it seems that time and personal tragedy have eroded it. There are plenty of young, vibrant politicians out there that could have been a better choice. Initially, Biden was doing very poorly. Clyburn’s endorsement pushed him to the top.
Clyburn endorsed Biden, and everyone followed. This seems only to be based on the desire of some, such as Sen. Clyburn, to continue the Obama legacy. A vote against Biden is a vote against Obama’s legacy. I admire Barrack and Michelle just as much as anyone. They hold a special place in my heart. But almost anyone that was on that democratic debate stage would have been a better choice for President than Biden. The Obama era is over. I believe he was the best President we ever had, the right man for the right time. Also, I think that if it were not for the Obama presidency, we would not have had a Donald Trump. We are paying the price of having a Black president for eight years.
A mistake may have been made by choosing Biden. We will find out soon. Maybe it is the headache and awful hangover of 2016 that still lingers, but I am not confident at all that Biden will win. I do not care what the polls say. There is a particular cloud of doubt that hangs over this whole election. It does not feel right. Lately, polls have shown Biden’s lead is slipping. So it is a long way from certain that he’ll win. This is another provider of worry.
In addition to my angst about the candidate, the other concern is that Trump will not concede if he loses the election. When asked if he would commit to a peaceful transition, Trump replied, “Well, we’re going to have to see what happens.” That is not what you want to hear from an American President.
Vigilantes and Secret Police
Because of Trump’s positive head-nod towards hate groups and white supremacists, uneasiness has blanketed my thoughts. Vigilantes, who are Trump supporters, roam the streets armed to the teeth and are very cozy with the cops. The cops seem to view it as open season on African Americans, killing unarmed Blacks in broad daylight, and with several witnesses and cameras turned on. Unidentified federal officers armed with military-style equipment are harassing peaceful protesters. The protest itself is being invaded by parasitic hate groups whose only intent is to cause violence and chaos in the streets.
While Black Lives Matter protesters are following all the rules, these racist groups are going around breaking windows, throwing bricks, and everything gets blamed on the peaceful protesters — of course. Trump and his minions complain that these groups are lawless and need to be controlled, but they don’t comment about the police or the armed teenager that shot three people and killed two. We are in a mess. So why wouldn’t every African American go straight to the gun shop and load up on weapons and ammunition? All of this can cause a mental stain on any sensible person. If they are thinking, at least.
Stress is part of African American DNA
There has always been a high level of stress for African Americans. Of course, there are the usual reasons like slavery and everything that goes along with that. After slavery, it was no less stressful. Jim Crow laws, voter suppression, and lynching are just a few things that could stress a Black person out. But then there are the lower voltage stress factors that come into play with everyday living. In the past, we had to be extra careful when traveling. There were places we could not go to, hotels where we could not stay, restaurants where we could not eat, bathrooms that we could not use, and there were even people that we could not look at. We had to continually be aware of how we talk to white people because it could get us killed. Stress is baked-in in American society for Black people. Almost a hundred years ago, Claude McKay wrote this poem, America. In this poem, America is like a woman he wants to love, but she only gives him grief:
Although she feeds me bread of bitterness,
And sinks into my throat her tiger’s tooth,
Stealing my breath of life, I will confess
I love this cultured hell that test my youth!
Her vigor flows like tides into my blood,
Giving me strength erect against her hate.
Her bigness sweeps my being like a flood.
Yet as a rebel fronts a king in state,
I stand within her walls with not a shred
Of terror, malice, not a word of jeer.
Darkly I gave into the days ahead,
And see her might and granite wonders there,
Beneath the touch of time’s unerring hand,
Like priceless treasures sinking in the sand
I believe most Black people want to love America, or at least feel a little fondness. For me, it was never really an America that I loved. It was the idea of America. A place where all people are equal and have an equal voice in the way things work. It was and is a great idea. However, it is something that we are not, and we never really were. When people talk about the “good old days,” that is a totally subjective argument. However, the American idea has universal appeal. People from all over the world are still trying to come here. The formation of American society is an idea that we are always working on. The real test for us is to continue to work on that goal. We should never give up on reaching for that goal. Sometimes seeking that goal is like a dog chasing his tail. Working towards the American dream is an excellent way to live because we are heading in the right direction. In McKay’s poem above, he points out that he still loves “her,” and that indicates that there is still hope for tomorrow. I may not share his type of love, but I do share the hope he has for the potential that America still possesses. All is not lost.
Is it time for African Americans to arm themselves?
I do not feel it is time for African Americans to arm themselves because of today’s climate. Things are dire, but we are not there yet. It can be argued that buying a gun is not a bad idea, though. If Trump is reelected, America’s next four years will make the last four years look like paradise. I am not thinking about the civil war or overtaking the Trump regime. I am only thinking about protecting my family and myself. I am not thinking about showing up at state capitals with automatic weapons, I am not thinking about attending the right-wing protest with guns, I am only thinking about protecting and defending my neighborhood when the brownshirts come marching in. With Trump’s support of vigilantes and his constant rhetoric that promotes hate and chaos, and with the racist cops that seem to be empowered by the most powerful man in the world (it hurts me to say that), I believe African Americans are in danger of being harmed by the racist hoard that Trump is ginning up. I wonder what would happen if a large group of heavily armed Black men would show up at a state capital or conservative rally. Hmmm.
We can’t even watch a movie or enjoy a good book.
Meanwhile, we are being served an ample supply of angst in the entertainment world. At the local Barnes and Noble bookstore, the entire window is filled with books on race issues. And inside, there are tables dedicated to this topic, as if it is new. Racism is not new, of course, but it is being fed to us with a firehose now. There are books out there titled; White Fragility, Me and White Supremacy, White Rage, and So You Want to talk about Race. For some strange reason, we are treating racism as something brand new in American society. The Black sections in book stores seemed to have expanded. There was always a glut of books about racial issues in America, but it seems more people are writing about it than ever before.
We are reminded of this by watching Lovecraft Country, an HBO horror series based on the style and concepts of H.P. Lovecraft stories. But through all of the monsters, ghost, shapeshifters, magic, mutilations, and a copious amount of all sorts of sex, the part that is the most frightening has nothing to do with the supernatural; it is the ordeal of driving from point A to point B as an African American in the south. That was the part that was the most frightening for me. That may be a horror movie to some, but for me, that is a real-life documentary.
The same can be said of streaming services such as HULU, Amazon, Netflix. So many of these services now have a black section of movies. Maybe some already have provided this category before, but now they are really promoted and are placed prominently on the home screen. All of this racial rhetoric is driving me nuts. Being bombarded with this information 24/7 and during the pandemic is harming my psyche. As I said, I know I am not the only one.
The movie Antebellum (which seems to be a ripoff of Octavia Butler’s Kindred, but that’s another story), further depicts the atrocities of slavery and of course, our heroine, a thriving black author, is repeatedly rapped when she travels back in time into slavery. I just don’t feel like watching anything like this, especially during these times.
I limit the news to 58 minutes a day. Not even a full hour. Every time Trump does something that would totally end the career of greater men, the offense is quickly forgotten when he has yet another blunder. Whether he is calling military members losers, holding back information on the dangers of the coronavirus, or putting his on followers in danger by holding rallies without requiring people to wear a mask, there seems to be nothing that will bring him down. Watching the news after 58 minutes is a waste of time. As a matter of fact, I believe I could cut it down to 58 minutes a week. Both conservative and liberal news has turned into 24 hour Trump programs. That is depressing.
We are gleefully embracing all of the atrocities that have visited us since 1619. Even as I write these words, I had to think if I was actually promoting misery by just bringing it to light. Sometimes I feel physically sick when I hear the rantings of the orange clown. I cannot explain it, this physical pain, but the ingredients of these feelings are anger and helplessness. Anger at those who ignore or support the deconstruction of American society, and hopelessness because the decent people seem to be powerless to counter what is going on.
However, I don’t feel fear. As a Black man, a sense of defiance is already baked into my interaction with society. Regardless of having never had an awful encounter with cops, a feeling of dread comes over me whenever those lights flash behind me while I am driving. Long before police cameras and a renewed interest in police brutality, I already knew the moment I got behind the wheel, that there was a danger lurking out there. The Black community understands that when you are stopped by the cops, even if you committed no crime, there is the possibility you could lose your life. In light of this, most African Americans are always alert and conscience of their environment. This is a burden few white people have to carry and even less understand. This does not breed fear but instead breeds anger and resentment. When anger and resentment are crossed with racism, bad things can happen.
Uncle Toms — They are back in fashion, but still on the fringes
The Republican Convention of 2020 was a joke. The RNC paraded a bunch of mostly random blacks to speak on Trump’s behalf. There were a couple of blacks there that would be considered semi-celebrities. Former NFL player Herschel Walker (delivering a speech Fox News deemed powerful) and Sen. Tim Scott were there to tell us what a swell guy their massa is. These blacks were not the first uncle toms to grace the stage of the RNC.
At the 1984 Republican convention in Dallas, one of the guest speakers was none other than former Black Panther Leader (Minister of Information), Eldridge Cleaver, and former NFL Player and actor Rosie Grier. Grier used to be a democrat and was with Presidential candidate Bobby Kennedy when Kennedy was assassinated and actually helped wrestle the gunman to the ground and subdued him. It was also, way back at the 1984 RNC convention that Ed Jenkins, a Conservative Alliance member, said, “I felt the government was destroying the fabric of America, destroying what made America great.” Sound familiar? The republicans have been at this for a while.
Initially, several professional sports teams stopped their games from being played for a couple of days after unarmed, Jacob Blake was shot in the back seven times by a cop. The emotional toll that all of this is having on African Americans is palatable. Several grown men, filled with emotion, cried or expressed their disdain at the state of affairs we find ourselves. For me, it seems like a community nightmare. My worst thoughts about America are slowly and steadily materializing. All of the doubts and fears, and the superstitions, and the myths. All of the pessimistic views, the outlandish conspiracies, and the suspicions of the far-left; all find a home in the present administration.
Our system of government was not made for clowns.
The political system in American is made only for reasonable presidents. We now see that this system can’t stand the strain of a mentally challenged racist. If the people against Trump have the majority and he still gets reelected, we have to admit to ourselves that the system (electoral college) needs to be changed. A Trump win would be awful. They have already told us that no one can stop him from doing the things he does and that the only way to get rid of him is to vote. So if we all vote and win the majority vote but lose the presidency as we did in 2016, what lesson will that teach us?
Trump traveled to Kenosha, Wisconsin, on September 1, 2020. This trip was not to urge the people to come together or ease the Black community’s pain. He did not travel to Kenosha to condemn the teenaged vigilante that shot three people, killing two of them. Instead, he referred to the protesters as “domestic terrorists.” He did not even mention Jacob Blake, the unarmed Black man shot by a cop seven times in the back and is now paralyzed. He made it clear that he was there to support law enforcement and would not acknowledge that systemic racism exists. It would be fair to say that race relations could become worse if we don’t vote this President out.
In the long run, Donald Trump may have actually helped Black people. Now more than any other time in my life, I feel a strong camaraderie with my fellow African Americans. This is on an emotional level that I did not even know existed. The bond between Black people has traditionally been strong. However, now we have an immediate threat. We no longer need to lean on historical atrocities to find that bond; we now have atrocities in real-time. I am not only talking about the streets; I am also speaking about the courts and law enforcement. There is an urgency to act upon this threat collectively and immediately. Our voting turnout will be bigger than the Obama turnout. Some of this action will have good consequences that will last long after Trump leaves office (one way or another). Improvements will be acted upon and made. In other words, Trump has birthed a new movement in the African American community. This movement needs to continue even if Biden wins the election. Racism has our collective attention. If he would have really paid attention in history class, he’d had realized that as a people, we’ve always overcome the worst circumstances, we still thrive. Meanwhile, it is ok if we are feeling a little out of sorts.
If American history was written by Native Americans, Mexicans, Asians, or any other non-white person. History textbooks would be very different from what most of us remember. And this history will be filled with woe and sorrow. There’s no way to have an open talk about slavery without the violence and atrocities. That would be like explaining how to bake an apple pie and leaving out all references to apples. I already wrote about this twice last year with my piece on my visits to Black Museums, Part 1 and Part 2.
So what can we do about all of the evil and depressing news we are being bombarded with? Nothing. The news and information will be coming at us whether we want it or not. To quote the orange clown, “It is what it is.” We cannot omit slavery, lynching, poverty, redlining, and the list goes on, from history books, media, entertainment, or news. And honestly, we should not omit information because it makes us feel bad.
However, I will make a suggestion; for every bit of bad news, we should become activated somehow. There are many things we can do to become politically active. However, I will only concentrate on one thing: Vote. That would start with shooting for 85% voter turnout among African Americans. In 2016, Black voter turnout decreased, and white voter turnout increased. In 2016, Black voter turnout was at its lowest rate in 20 years, at 59.6%. That is down from a record high in 2012 when the Black voter turnout was at a record 66.6% (hmmm) high. And that 7% decrease in Black voter turnout was the largest decrease in Black voter history. When I say that we should increase Black voter turnout, I am not just speaking about the national election; I am talking about local elections also. There are other ways to take action, and I am not going to go over it here, but voting is a great place to start. This is the most potent weapon we have, and refusing for any reason not to vote is a horrible idea. There is hope in the air. However, without action, all of the hope in the world is meaningless.
